Oh What a Ride

I haven't abandoned you, dear loves. Life has been in fast motion as of late for me. There's so much change, and I am just enjoying riding the wave of it all!

I'm not sure where I left off, so bear with me. First things first, my hubby and The Boy have officially moved to Minnesota!  I miss them terribly, but I know I'll be there very soon. So far, The Boy seems to be enjoying the change.

Lou, my daughter, graduated high school. Not only did she graduate, she was entered into her school's Hall of Fame--very prestigious! I am so impressed by her each and every day. She's here with me now, at my parents' house. We have freshman orientation for college this week. We do her senior trip in a couple weeks. Then, it's off to the North to meet up with the rest of the family. We'll be back down in Fall to move her in to her dorm. But it'll be so nice to have all of us together for a little while more.

I officially had my last day of work on Thursday! I am no longer a Paraeducator! 9 years...I made it 9 years. And, honestly, with my awakening I just knew I couldn't do more. It was time for me to transition away from the school system.

In the meantime, I am doing a LOT of resting and resetting. I meditate and count my blessings throughout my day. I wake up and go to sleep reminding myself of how amazing my life is. I miss my hubby, but I choose not to dwell on it. I know being away from him, like many things in this life, is temporary.

I have been doing a lot of reading up on light language. Bits and pieces come to me here and there. I just don't feel that I'm quite ready to bring it forth aloud and into existence. 

I haven't been doing healing sessions. I want to, but I keep feeling that I am not healed myself yet. And I must get to that space to be able to work wholly on others. I do hope to reach that mark before we leave. I'd love to send healing energy through my parents before going oh so far away...

I am speaking into existence, for the end of this post, my plan for once we're settled in Minnesota:

I want to start an actual practice. I want to go out and heal others. I want to assist those on their spiritual journey. I want to help people that are ready to work on their shadows. I want to once again embrace nature and Spirit and the Universe. I want to make potions and tinctures in my apothecary. I will be successful and fulfilled.

But first thing I want in Minnesota is a huge bear hug from my husband.   

Light Language Acquired

I am a light language person!

I don't know what it's all about, yet. But yesterday I was going through videos and came upon someone that uses light language to create beautiful music. I understood the music--what it meant/what was being said. I had memory flashes of being  my spirit and using the language. In fact, I had a distinct memory of being my energetic spirit and in a "motherly figure" type of energy "singing" the song to awaken light language to another energetic spirit--the person performing! 

I don't know what any of this means for me. I know it opened something in me that hadn't been seen in ages. I feel it was the next natural progression in my awakening. It was so natural, like I knew the songs already. 

In this human life/form, I don't know the language well enough to speak it--not now. But perhaps if I continue down this particular rabbit hole I'll be able to!

It is an exciting step in my spiritual journey, and I cannot WAIT to see where it'll take me!

Speaking to my Inner Child

Things I need to tell my Inner Child:

I'm sorry I forgot you. It was so sudden when you went away. I guess I honestly didn't really notice it. I froze. I became numb, and allowed you to take the fall alone. It wasn't your fault--none of it. 

You have felt unsafe and forgotten for so long. But you are safe. No one can hurt you now. I am here, and I will keep you safe. Feel free to sing, dance, laugh. Be silly. Be imperfect. That's okay--being imperfect. No one will love you less because of your imperfections. They are beautiful. 

Give yourself time when you stumble. It's okay to feel the fall. But get back up, because you are worth getting back up and continuing on. Do not feel the need to freeze when it happens. You are worth continuing on. 

Come out of hiding, my sweet dear. You don't have to hide in the shadows. You don't have to wear the masks. It is okay to not be happy all of the time. It is okay to show sadness, fear, regret. 

Use your voice. Speak out for what you need. Yell for help. Allow for others to hear you. You deserve to be heard. You deserve the help. It is not your burden to carry alone. Do not allow those around you to not hear you--bang doors down if needbe. You are worth it. Make them hear.

You are not alone. 

There is hope. There is future. 

There is good news to share, my child--

We go through so much. We put ourselves through a lot of it. But we make it. We find love. We find a man that reminds us what love is supposed to look like. We have children, and we work so hard to let them know they are safe, loved, and heard. We break the cycles we once thought we were forever stuck in.

And our life is beautiful. 

PodCast?

Though I have little to no following here and on other social media, I still feel the need to get my thoughts down and out into the Universe. I don't know if it's more for others to eventually find or for myself. 

I have started listening to Podcasts about spirituality.  I know, I'm way behind in the times. There are literally hundreds of thousands of those around these days. I love listening to others speaking on things that I've felt all alone on. I love hearing their voices with conviction. It makes me feel more connected to others on the path to awakening.

That being said--should I figure out how to make a podcast once I've moved and am settled? I mean, I'll have the time. I'm not the best speaker, especially with my trigeminal neuralgia. However, maybe it would be a better way to get my message out there. I love to write, and I love this blog, though few see it. But I can't seem to get the views to show that my message is going out into the Universe.  I'm not looking to get popular or famous. I just want the message heard. It's not my  message, per se. It's a message that it's time to awaken...it's time to join the connectedness of the One. 

So, what do you think?

Moons, Downloads, and Love

Last night, I did a lovely guided meditation in honor of the full moon. As you know, unless you've been living under a rock, it was a spectacular thing--super full moon/eclipse that hit its peak at 11:11--very powerful.

After the meditation, I went to bed. I chose not to stay awake for the actual eclipse. While I am a witch, I am also a human needing lots of rest, especially when I have work. The Moon and I often have that conversation. While I'd love to see her in person, I often speak to her indoors, on my way to sleep or when I wake up and know she's still around. Self-care is so very important, and I'm sure she knows that.

Anyway...On my way to sleep, I had some "downloads" of thoughts. While I don't remember them all, I do have some that stuck with me. A lot of them were about how my present, being on idle, waiting to move, is a phase that soon won't matter. I was reminded and shown how timelines work and interact.  I am going to be jumping timelines a lot soon-that I know. I don't know if it's because I'll be raising my reality or what. But I knew I needed to have it explained to me so I can better understand what's to come.

I was also reminded I need patience for those around me. So many people I am close to don't believe in the awakening hype. A lot of people go through alone because of this. You either have to choose to let them drop away of make a conscious effort to keep your relationship with them. I am choosing the latter. I told my guides many moons ago that my hubby is my person and I am not dropping him. I know he's closed minded. He tries, he really does, to understand. However, in the end he thinks it's all in my mind or made up or whatever. 

And that's fine--I know my truth. And I know deciding to stay with him will make my growth and ascension harder...but doesn't that make it more worth it? A love like we have--a connection like we have is SO hard to find. Why would I release that? He is why I am able to grow through this journey. If it weren't for him, I don't know what my life would look like right now. He is my reason for change. He is my reason for developing. He is my reason for trust and love. And he will stay by my side, no matter how far my journey takes me.

Writing

I love to read. I love reading books about all of the wonderful things I have been researching while travelling down various rabbit holes. I have begun flying through books, articles, blogs. Each one brings me more and more joy and amazement about this Terra School I'm in! 

I also love to write. I have been writing various poems, lyrics, stories, etc ever since I learned how to put the words I knew into sentences. I don't often, however, feel worthy of being called a writer. Why? Because I never feel as though I've completed a task I've written. There's never been a final (.) on any work I've done. But I keep writing. I have stories and poetry and thoughts in so many random journals, notebooks, and documents on my computer. But none ever feel complete enough to share with the world.

I'd love to be an author. I would love to see a book of a final something I've completed on a shelf somewhere. However, I don't know how to make myself finish point A to get to point B. Each writing is an infinite that just never feels done. 

Perhaps one day I'll find structure in my writing. Until then, enjoy the randomness that is my thoughts. 

Roots

Mom asked me an interesting question on the way to see my daughter this weekend...

We passed where her, well, our ancestors are buried. She asked, "Do you ever feel roots when you're in Choupic (where I grew up)? I always feel a pull when we're around here (the place w/her people)."

And the answer for me is no. I mean, I get a sense of 'this was home' when I'm near where M and I lived for 18 years. 'Home' when I am at my parents'. But never real roots. That's part of who I am/what I am doing though, I think. I wasn't made to be settled into one place. Home is where life is happening. My roots are everywhere, since I now know that everything in the Universe is connected. Perhaps it's because I don't have many childhood memories. Maybe it's because we travelled so much as a kid and I fell in love with so many places. 

I don't feel bad that I don't feel roots in any particular place. I just don't think that's part of my narrative. Perhaps once we are 'home' in Minnesota that will change. I have a feeling not.

So, question of the day, do you feel rooted/pulled to a particular location? Why do you think you do/don't?