Much Needed Reset

Yesterday was bad at work. There's just so many kids getting in trouble all at once that are cut-ups in class. They're not bad kids--just all attention seekers. 

When I got home, I decided to let it out. I screamed. I yelled. I expressed all of my pent up feelings about not liking my job anymore. This kids need more discipline in their lives. They're babies. They expect everything from everyone because they don't know how to do themselves because they aren't TAUGHT to do for themselves. And there's nothing I can do about it. And I hate that feeling. 

 And I cried--I really cried. I haven't cried like that in a LONG time. My trigeminal neuralgia/neuropathy usually prevents it. However, after a day of horrible pain, it seams to have eased up. As of now, I have feeling and little pain. A few odd sensations, but manageable.

Which brings me to another point--hope. The fact that a massage technique can bring back sensation and ease the pain in my face may mean it's treatable. Not cureable, but treatable. There's a chiropractic treatment that aligns the base of the neck and spine. That can give relief to the nerve tunnel. Can you imagine???  After two years I could possibly get relief!!!

Back to yesterday. After my crying session, I meditated. I found a guided one that ended up being PERFECT! It was meeting with a monk that helped me rid myself of some of the masks I wear in my life. I cried during my meditation. It was so freeing! I am definitely going to use that guided meditation over and over! I grew up using so many masks...it was something I thought was normal. You mold yourself to your surroundings. So many times I hated what was going on around me, but I just blended in to not cause trouble. Heck, I still do that at work.

That meditation made it very clear to me--stop hiding! No longer will I act in a "normal" way just to make others comfortable. No longer will I mask at work just to hide the fact that I feel we are failing our kids. I will do my best to work on change. I'm only here for a few more months, but if I just keep blind of things, I'll never be happy in those months! And that is not okay.

So yes, I'm sure you've noticed that I write about resetting often. And yes, it is okay to do so. Reset as many times as you need. Reset as often as you need. Just never lose focus of your goal--to fully awaken spiritually.

Be blessed.

2/22/22 = No Sleep?

Did anyone else struggle to fall asleep last night?

I tried breathing exercises, going into my mind, and every other thing that usually helps.

Heck, I take enough meds (including sleep meds) that I shouldn't be able to not sleep!

However, I did not fall asleep until 12:30. That is NOTHING for me.

Is it the major shift we have come into because of the date and astral actions of today? I feel different today. Not exhausted, surprisingly. Yes, I'm tired from less sleep than I usually need. But I feel more "here" today. More present. 

Do I have any plans for such a date? Not really. I hope to meditate this evening, but I have a lot of daily routine to catch up on. I also may make a candle just for positive vibes to continue to flow in my life.

Are you planning anything special? I'd love to know to get ideas!

Cupping

I had another visit with my massage therapist/energy healer Saturday. 

~And yes, energy healers/workers go to other healers to keep their energy and alignment in tune!~

I had asked her about a type of healing--myofascial release. She did some on me (she is so knowledgeable), and WOW! Such releases! I could have cried, if my tear ducts would know how to work. Those that have chronic pain conditions, I recommend looking into this type of treatment. I don't know how long the affects will last, but I'm happy thus far!

She also did cupping, which I've never had done before

What is it? Well, it is what it sounds like. She placed these cups on my back at specific points, and then suctioned the air out of them to form a vacuum. It's been done for many, MAN Y years, and it's now more popular as people are connecting both Eastern and Western medicine.

It is meant to release toxins, bring blood to the surface, and increase circulation. It also brings lymph flow to the stagnant areas, which makes it good for people that have thyroid issues. 

Did it hurt? At first, yes. I had to get into my mind and allow myself to go deep to not feel it. It only hurts when the initial suction is done. Yes, my back looks like I had a fight with an octopus or something. I'm marked and bruised. But I feel like it is very much worth it. I had been feeling like something was wrong with my thyroid (I have Hashimoto's)--could have sworn my balance was off. However, bloodwork proved otherwise. This, I am hoping, will balance out and begin to heal whatever is really going on.

I also had a great conversation about seeing a holistic doctor. There's a place locally, and she spoke very highly of one of the doctors. I am hoping to see him soon. I want to get as well as I can before I don't have this insurance anymore. It's sad that we struggle because companies can say whether or not you can see a doctor or get a medicine....or if you can afford it....but that's for another time.

So yes, I had a great experience as always with my masseuse/energy worker. I love exploring new forms of healing with her. It is amazing to have someone I trust so much with my well being. I highly recommend that, on your journey, you take care of YOU, and get massages or energy work or any form of self care you see fit.

Bad Turns Around--Always!

So, as we discussed yesterday, I was an idiot and didn't take ANY of my morning medicines! I suffered with pain all day. I went home, doubled one of my face meds (allowed when needed) and crashed for an hour.

I then woke up, did a cleansing bath/shower (thanks, full moon), and took some CBD.

Before I go into what happened with the dose of CBD, let me say that for the first time in two years my left side of my tongue worked! I almost cried (can't because the way TN affects my face). It was the strangest of sensations. I didn't realize how little that side works. 

Back to the CBD. During interactions with my Hubby, I realized I was going into kind of a little space (this was before it kicked in, btw). I immediately went in and asked myself why....

Trauma. I had dental work Tuesday, which didn't hurt because I'm numb. However, the pain from TN included pain from the dental work. I had a horrid dentist when I was a kid. He'd yell if you'd raise your hand for pain. Call me a wuss. Tell me my parents would punish me if I moved...just goes on and on. I put that pain in my head and went into acting like a kid.

I was proud of me--shadow work hit and I think I nailed it. So, with the CBD kicking in, I had a few conversations with my guides. One such subject was me having Trigeminal Neuralgia. I mean, a disease called suicide disease/face is a hard pill to have to swallow. Especially since doctors can't find a reason why I have it.

I was told it's because I'm on a high level of my "Earth Schooling." People who live with chronic conditions of pain and fatigue have the challenge for a reason. These people have come so far in their journey and learning that the challenge becomes also physical to test the soul. So I must not only continue growing and learning in my life lessons, but I also must survive and thrive with my condition(s). 

So, I suffer. I am dealing with these conditions. I do not own them, just deal with them. I will continue to grow in my soul lessons. I will strive to be the best I can be. Who knows~~maybe this is my last lesson. Wouldn't that be wonderful?  I am going to be better every day, and see where the path takes me.

What an adventure!

 

Remember Next Time (off topic post)

I guess it is sort of on topic, since I tend to write about my everyday life in between the spiritual stuff. However, I'm putting the words down here and into the Universe to hopefully remind myself to never get into this situation again...

My routine was off this morning. Hubby had an appointment, so he was home, and it threw me off.

How bad can it be, right?

I took none of my meds--ZERO! I don't know how I managed it. I seriously take two different sets of meds in the mornings before I head out of the door. I've missed one set here and there, but never BOTH! When I tell you the amount of pain I'm in is nearly impossible to bear...Luckily, I'm stuck in a single room all day today. I can control the climate and the noise. It doesn't take any of the pain away, but it's not something to add to it. Being on the right dose of meds for so long has made me forget how bad my face can be. 

Oh, for those that don't know, I have Trigeminal Neuralgia (look it up...it's called "suicide face"). The pain makes it hard to speak, because my brain can't focus. Even typing, I'm having to pause between lightening strikes. The meds I missed weren't all for my face pain, but the other stuff doesn't come close to this. 

Also, for those asking why I didn't just go run home and take them--If I would have known early enough that I hadn't I would have. However, I wasn't 100% certain this morning, and doubling doses would have made me not able to drive. It wasn't until later in the morning that my face started really flaring more than usual.

So, here I am, looking mad at the world (which works with the caliber of kids I have today). I want to cry, but my tear ducts don't work right because of TN. I feel less numb and swollen/pressure on my face because I don't have the medicines reacting, but I also FEEL it all.

Note to self: NEVER MISS A MED DOSE AGAIN

Go Shorty, it's My Birthday

So, my birthday weekend just passed. 

Friday, I went on a double date w/my hubby and parents. It was my dad's birthday/my birthday/Valentine's Day dinner. 

The food! The drinks! The desserts! Everything was perfect! We are blessed enough that the Hubby decided to treat my parents. He can be so thoughtful! We all fully enjoyed ourselves.

Tuesday was errands. However, my Hubby added a stop to the local crystal shop! He let me get a few new friends, including a necklace with tourmaline. The evening was quiet and uneventful. I did some meditation and self work. I peacefully reflected on the growth I've gone through the past year, which is a lot. 

Sunday, the Hubby made took me to a great BBQ spot in Thibodaux. Then, we tried to go to Starbucks for my free birthday drink. HOWEVER, they claimed they couldn't give it to me because the app said no. I was not happy at all. I will prolly send an email because I'm so not happy. We then spent the evening again with my parents to watch the Super Bowl! The halftime show was EVERYTHING! I especially loved that 50 Cent sang In the Club, "Go shorty, it's your birthday"--to me for my birthday! It got me so hyped up!

So needless to say, it was a wonderful weekend. I reflected, cleansed, and got myself right for my next year on this Earth. I am so blessed, and I am ready for even more blessings in my 41st year!

And Happy Valentine's Day to all...may you spend this day reflecting on the love and blessings in your life! 

Hello, Old Frienemey

Yesterday, I had an emergency visit to the dentist. I hadn't been in years. As I sat in the chair waiting, I got high-level anxiety.

A bit of a backstory on me~~I went to the Orthodontist constantly from the second grade until I was 18. I had retainers, braces, wires, teeth pulled, and on and on. I always thought it wasn't that bad. However, sitting in that chair yesterday, something hit me, HARD

This is where I learned to dissociate. When I was in pain at the dentist, he simply told me to "raise my hand." And, if I did that, he'd fuss me. Looking back, he gave me the dentist from "Little Shop of Horrors" vibes. I learned to hide my pain, my feelings, my tears. Sometimes, it was nothing short of torture. 

So there I go, more shadow work. I said many times before, it never is truly done. Something new will always pop up. I had no clue a simple trip to the dentist would bring up these emotions. 

  

Signs of Shifting Day 13

We've hit lucky number 13:

                            Code Cracking

To me, this is part of your research process. You get messages/signs/"Aha!" moments and you figure out what they mean. You strive to know more. Research becomes rabbit holes that you enjoy going down.

Cracking the code of messages becomes a fun past time for you. Research isn't a chore because you crave to know. 

Your eyes are opening to the "matrix" we truly live in.

For me, it's the little things now. The seeing 1:11, 2:22, etc each day. A song turns on that answers a question I'm having. I get feelings of knowing. 

Tell me, what do you think the sign of code cracking mean to you? I'd love to know your take on it. Striving for answers;) 

Signs of Shifting Day 12

Today's sign is something I'm DEFINATELY being tested with:

Trusting Flow

I could be down in the dumps about having to move back into the house. I could be mad that the sale didn't go through. But I know that it just wasn't our time. We will sell. We have showings this week already. The house deserves the right owners. Our sale won't be a struggle, wondering from day to day if the buyer is still on board. 

Everything happens as it should, even if the way it happens isn't what you'd like to see. Some manifestations are messy-the outcome occurs but not in the easy, straight line you think it should. Your awakening, which you'd THINK would be this amazing thing that would just hit and everything would be rainbows, is instead messy and muddy and sometimes scary. But it's part of the growth...

THEN, you think you've put in the work and the shadow work is over and you see rainbows, then BAM, the Universe finds a way to bring you back to a low point in your awakening. It's like the flow of water and the lunar cycle--there are always high tides and low. But in the end, it is all worth it, because enlightenment feels SO much better than being asleep to what's going on around you!

Welcome Back

I am SO happy writing this! I took the time to ground and meditate this weekend. And, thankfully I have been reintroduced to receiving messages! I was so stoked, that I almost had trouble staying in my calm state enough to stay in my zone.

First, I just did a small meditation, just to get back into it. I grounded myself and kinda just said, "Hello," and apologized for not keeping up with my practice. I was received well, and reminded that I am always growing, even if I'm not practicing daily. That made me feel a ton better.

Yesterday, I set myself up and planned to astral project--and was able to! It was hard keeping there, because my hubby was not quiet during it. But I was able to see him, roll my eyes, and continue. I was able to get messages and ask questions I've always wanted to ask. I didn't stay as long as I wanted to, but I could hear life having other plans (aka it was time to cook lol). 

Oh, dear friends, the near future is bright for so many! Those that are open to the shifting, signs will pour to you soon. Signs to be prepared to gain abundance--in information and prosperity. You may be feeling lost or forgotten right now. Keep going. Turn your thoughts towards your present and keep them positive. Keep "I am" flowing out of your mouth/thoughts.

My plans to grow my energy healing will come to sight soon, as well. I am excited for that news. I get such a helped feeling myself when I help others.

Be blessed. 

Signs of Shifting day 11

Today, dear friends, we talk about empathy increasing during your spiritual awakening. 

What is empathy? Well, it's the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. As a healer/empath, this came to me quickly. As you awaken to the fact that we are all souls and our mission is to love souls, your whole mindset can change. I find that the more empathetic I get, the more I am able to help my students. I can feel their triggers and rise and fall of emotions. I've learned to take note of times they need me to take a step back. I find it helps me be a better Para.

The downside of gaining empathy is feeling too much. It can be quite overwhelming, especially when you've yet to learn the skill of telling if the feelings you're in are yours or someone else's. To deal with this, you must learn to protect your energy. Grounding and shielding become a necessity in your day-to-day. Otherwise, you can burn out and feel drained all of the time. 

Your assignment: look up ways to shield your energy. Come up with a routine that works for you. If you're into crystals, may I suggest tourmaline to either wear or carry every day. Your energy is a part of your life force. 

Another great practice that I can recommend is cleansing at night. Find a ritual that works for you. My way includes either in the shower or while putting lotion on at night, simply saying, "I wash away energies that are not mine that I may have gotten along the way, and call back my energy that I may have lost throughout the day." I repeat this until I feel better.     

Let me know of other ways you protect your energies as you become more open to being empathetic to others!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    m 

Back to Normal (for now)

Well, dear ones,

Tomorrow I start the move back to the house. My hubby and I will be moving back into the house while it once again gets listed and sold. And yes, we'll be taking Leroy with us (but leaving The Boy). 

It's bittersweet. On the one had we'll have more privacy and space. It'll also be less time we're imposing on my parents.

However, I'm a bit sad. I mean, I said goodbye to the house. Now I feel I must do the work of shielding and protecting it (and us) again. I don't know how I'll feel walking back in the door. Maybe I'll fall in love again. Or maybe it'll be like meeting an ex for coffee. I'm not sure which one I'm hoping for at this point.

I do hope to get more writing done. Here, I feel like I'm away from my computer and paper a lot more than I was there. There's always someone to talk to or something to do. I've only meditated once this week. Those that know me know that's odd. I know once I'm here for the extended future I'll have to make time for it. Same goes with exercising. I had gotten good at making myself do those walking/exercise videos I had found myself. I haven't pulled one up this week. I thought about it a few times, just never made myself do it. 

Oh, and did I forget the number one most important part--I'll have my hubby back. While I've stayed put at my parents', he stayed at the house. We decided to do it like that because there's much more stuff that has to travel with me. And the weather hasn't exactly been favorable for me to return to the house and need to unpack things since we don't have a patio anymore. I miss just being near him.

So, think of me friends. Put positive vibes into the Universe that we may find the right next owners of our house so we can move onto the next chapter sooner than later.

2-2-22

Today can be an AMAZING start for you!

Yesterday was Imbolc (which I didn't do much for with everything going on) and a new moon. That means a huge shift in energy. The sun is returning, and we are at the halfway point in winter. New moons are all about manifesting and bringing to light what you plan to achieve by the time the full moon arises. Don't stress if you missed it, any time within a 1-3 day window of the moon is still a wonderful time to start!

Manifesting can be done with a ritual of some sort, or as simple as speaking what you will achieve into existence. When the Universe hears your plans and manifestations, it takes note!

Now, to the 2-2-22 portal. This number is a sign of peace and harmony. The energy is light and peaceful. Today is a great day to start a meditation practice. Sit and visualize your desires. Write down your goals, not as "I wish" but as "I am." That small change in wording can change so much. This sequence of numbers, 2222, is often referred to as an angel number. 

 Consider approaching life with more compassion, seek better balance, and seek partnership when you can strive for harmony.

Think today on ways you can bring more harmony into your life. Take a few slow, cleansing breaths, thanking the Universe for people/things that already bring in harmony.

The Universe is changing. The energies are shifting. Open your eyes and enjoy the ride!

New Day

Today is a new day. A big manifesting day--2/2/22! 

2222 is a spiritual number meaning harmony and serenity. Maybe that's why I woke up feeling peace this morning. I could be upset and down with the loss of the sale of the house. I could be negative about starting the process over. But I'm not.

I look at it as we may get a better offer. The house we have called home for almost 2 decades deserves the next owners to be the best. It deserves to get remodeled and made beautiful. I want the house to be filled with love when it finally has new owners to call it home. Perhaps the seller wasn't that right fit.

We are blessed that we didn't move into an apartment before the sale and would thus be stuck in a rental agreement. Our plan was to stay with my parents. I am so lucky to have the kind of parents that reopen their doors to my hubby, son, and myself with open arms.

So, what's the plan now?

Well, this weekend we move our needs back into the house. We'll stay there, but most of our possessions will remain in storage or at my parents'. We'll just have to go back and forth when something comes up and we need items we don't have with us. The house is going back on the market, but with new photos with less clutter. I will do a blessing on the home to attract the right buyer. 

I am also hoping to promote my energy healing in this process. I can use my daughter's old room to perform energy healings in my house until it's sold. I think that'll be good for me--to get back to doing things I love. I will also make Malas. I finally got more beads in, and the process calms me. We will live our lives and just be until the day comes that we are homeowners no more.

What about my son? Well, the boy (aka Man--21!) will stay with my parents. He's already settled in, and he doesn't like change (he has Asperger's) . Leroy-our cat-I'm not sure about yet. He's settled in to my parents' so well that I almost hate to put him through the process again. Grumpy, our indoor/outdoor cat will stay w/my parents' home because she's been outside there and I don't think we could get her back. Honestly, I haven't seen her in 24 hours, so I worry, but I know she can handle herself.

And the girl? Lou is at school still. We'll deal with her placement when it comes closer to time for the Mardi Gras break. But good news for her--she is now accepted into LaTech's Honors program. I don't know what that means, but it's a big deal obviously lol. She's going places, yall, just wait and see!

I have to give a HUGE shoutout to my parents. This process has been so easy because of them. Honestly, I'd likely be a mess if we wouldn't have their support and their ease of dealing with change. So thanks, Mom and Dad. To be your child is an honor and a blessing that I am thankful for each day.

Resolve Test

Well, my friends, it seems my resolve is being tested. The buyer on the house fell through. Now we have to figure out what to do. 

I have spent so many days manifesting, meditating, praying on the sale of our home to be smooth and successful. All of the signs around were showing that my work and dedication was paying off. Everything here for it to fall through the last moment.

This is a huge test for me. I could go down the negative path. I could go down the rabbit hole of despair because this was a huge setback for our progress. I could allow my hubby's emotions to become my own, adding to the negative vibe going out into the Universe--something that would not help us at all.

Instead, as I sit here I repeat, "It all happens as it should," over and over. I put up my shield to protect me from my hubby's emotions on the subject. He is allowed to feel his feelings. I cannot change how he handles the news. I can only control what I put out into the Universe--and I choose not to go down the negative path.

So today, after work, I have to go to my parents' and pack as much as I can to bring back to the house. I have to traumatize my cat again and move him back to the house. I have to hope my indoor/outdoor cat will be okay in her new space, because I can't move both cats at once alone. And we start over. The house gets listed and shown. Hubby will most likely have to repair things we didn't have to worry about in a cash/as is sale. I have to stay positive and keep my mind on the fact that this just wasn't the right time for us. Our time will come, though. We will sell the house. We will be free to move wherever we want after that. We can move forward and start the next chapter on our adventure.

My choice is to take this as a lesson. A hard lesson, which I will allow myself to feel the emotions that come with it. But not a lesson that will break me.